I can't believe that it's been 7 months since my weight loss surgery. I haven't had an update in awhile so I thought I'd update everyone...
This surgery has been THE BEST thing that I've ever done for myself. Anyone that knows me, knows that I always put other people first, always. I love helping people and I would do anything to help someone out. But, I didn't realize just how bad my self esteem was and what an impact it was having on my family until it changed. I now have great self esteem. When I get dressed in the morning, and start my day, I have a smile because I'm happy with how I look now. I'm not saying that how you look makes you who you are . But I'm saying that it is a very healthy thing to actively do what you need to do to feel good about yourself. For me, it was losing some weight. I have lost 110 pounds. I'm at a weight now that I'm happy with. I'm not trying to lose anymore but I haven't stopped losing yet. That does scare me a little. I guess if I lost another 15 pounds, it would be ok but at that point, I would be trying to NOT lose anymore. I've never liked the really skinny look and I don't want to be a size 3, I like where I'm at right now. I'm actually a size 10, sometimes a 8 but I'm happy at a size 10 : )
This surgery has been GREAT but there are other things that I've struggled with and there is a flip side to all of this. I'm also a VERY REAL person and not fake and want to update the good and the bad...When we lived in OBX for three months , from march to may, it helped so much. I focused on what was important.There wasn't so much busy life around. We were in Corolla and it was so quiet. We were there in the off season.I felt close to God, took walks on the beach, the empty beach, it was me, my kids, and God. Wow, what an awesome experience! Then we moved back. Yes, I like being around people and living in a neighborhood, being close to family and church. BUT life has gotten BUSY again. There has been a lot going on and somehow, 4 months went by and I have been just too busy.I didn't wake up one day and decide, Hey, I'm just going to become distant from God and get busy. It just happened. Where I think this surgery had something to do with this is this....I thought I needed to get a partime job,Scott had lost a job, I applied at many different places and long story short, I haven't really worked ever so most people just throw my application in the trash. Well, two places called me back and both places called back because they thought I looked decent. In a wordly way, it was flattering . I got caught up in it. For a couple of weeks, I was in my own little world. I was flattered. So, it was going to my head! I had mentally slipped away from what I knew God's plan was for me. Thank goodness, I WOKE UP! I'm happy to say that I'm not working any crazy joband Scott has another job. Maybe I had to personally go through this and overcome it , to be able to have this life experience be part of my testimony. I work with teenagers and now, I have been there, probably things that they are faced with everyday. it's hard! But with God, all things are possible.One of the cool parts of this story is...prior to my faith being tested, I was pretty strong in my faith and able to be a good example for Charlie when her faith was tested.I felt so frustrated because I didn't feel like it was making a difference in her life. But, she starting turning towards God around the time my faith was being tested. Mine and Charlie's relationship is yes a mother daughter kind of relationship but it's also a friendship, we are only 16 years apart..lol : ). So, Im very proud of her. I'm still fragile and in many ways, I'm beating myself up for making bad choices the past couple of weeks but the good news is that God got my attention and I'm getting back on the right road.
So, in a nutshell, the surgery has been awesome! I'm so thankful I had the surgery. But, I've also been through some challenging things in my life and been tested in areas I never thought I would...
I will give another update soon...
Jan
